Sinking Further
by solitaires a bitch
Summary: Three weeks had passed since their breakup, and still the wound was as fresh as ever, and Lorelai couldn’t help but feel that there was a regular amount of salt being spread over it daily. Everything reminded her of him. JavaJunkie post Say Something


Disclaimer: ASP owns all.

A/N--first Gilmore Girls fic. I've only ever written House, MD fics before, and this is a bit of a change...

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Lorelai sighed from her position at her office desk, fingers barely picking at the toast that Sookie had brought in earlier, insisting that she eat something. The sight of the buttered bread had made Lorelai nauseous, and she had forced a smile and told her friend that the toast would be swimming in stomach acid the next time she saw her.

That was half an hour ago.

Now, the toast had gotten cold and soggy, looking far less appealing than it had before. Food, she determined, was evil these days. Because food made her thirsty, which made her think of coffee, which made her think of…him.

She swallowed, feeling the all too familiar pricking sensation at the corners of her eyes. Squeezing the lids together, she pursed her lips and shook her head, holding back the tears.

Three weeks had passed since their break-up, and still the wound was as fresh as ever, and Lorelai couldn't help but feel that there was a regular amount of salt being spread over it daily. Everything reminded her of him.

Food, because he owned a diner. Coffee, because that's why she'd first gone into the diner all those years ago. Her bed sheets (now lying in a box under her bed), because they had spent a magnificent night in between them. Everything in her house reminded her of Luke, her dear handy man that had become so much more to her.

So, since coffee reminded her of Luke, she simply (and unconsciously) stopped drinking it. Food scarcely touched her lips, and what did wasn't much. Small, simple rations that were ingested merely because she knew that the body could only go so long without. Unfortunately, she loved her house and couldn't simply get rid of it just because every nook and cranny reeked of him.

She closed her eyes as the world began to spin, and when she opened them everything was balanced out. Standing up from her chair, she placed the plate of toast on her desk and made her way out of her office, straightening her suit as she did. She plastered a fake smile across her face, and sauntered towards the kitchen. "Mmm," she moaned, inhaling the scent. "Something smells delicious. Tell me, Sook, what are you cooking now?"

"Uhm," Sookie said, glancing from her friend to the frying pan. "It's…it's just grilled cheese, Lorelai."

Blushing, Lorelai shuffled her feet and looked down. "Oh," she mumbled, stepping further into the kitchen until she was seated on a stool. "Right."

"Hey," Sookie said, turning off the stove and wiping her hands on a towel. "What's going on with you?" Her warm eyes swept over her friend's ragged form. "You're not looking too hot."

"What? Oh, yeah, I just…" she waved her hand dismissively. "A little bug. It'll go away soon."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Sookie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because you obviously must if you honestly think I'm going to fall for that." Her features softened. "C'mon, hon. Tell me what's wrong."

Lorelai sighed, opening her mouth and ready to tell her friend what was going on, when another voice interrupted.

"Lorelai," came Michel's thick accent. "Your offpsring is on the phone for you. I would tell you what she wanted if only I cared."

"Gee," Lorelai said, giving him a thin-lipped smile. "Thanks."

She stood up from the stool and made her way to the door frame, when another wave of dizziness overswept her. Her hand shot out, gripping the hard doorframe as the floor began to rock. "Lorelai?" she heard Sookie's concerned voice echo off the walls. "Sweetie, are you…"

But she didn't hear the rest, because suddenly she didn't have any legs, and the ground was rushing up to meet her before everything went black.

000

Luke stared at the counter, rubbing the dishcloth over the same spot over and over again. If he kept on doing this, he assured himself, then he would be able to block out Kirk's incessant waving at him. He realized that if he kept on wiping this same spot, it might wear down, so he stopped and made his way towards the coffee pot as he heard the bell jingle from above the door. It was only when his hand was already wrapped around the handle when he remembered that it wouldn't be her.

Couldn't be her.

He turned. It wasn't. No, it was just Zach, staring at the countertop as if it would solve all of life's mysteries. He shook his head, a smirk barely touching his lips as he wondered what Lane saw in him.

His ears pricked up, suddenly, as the sound of sirens grew closer and closer to the diner. His head raised just in time to see an ambulance racing down the street towards…

"Caesar!" he barked, putting the coffee pot on the counter and running for the door. "Lane! Cover for me!"

And he got into his truck and drove after the ambulance, because it was heading in the general direction of the Dragonfly Inn.

In the back of his mind, he knew that as he buckled up and sped off, there was a possibility that the ambulance wasn't heading for the Dragonfly, but some random, miniscule accident that had happened in Stars Hollow.

But that, to Luke, was a slim possibility, so he chased after the medical vehical.

And, when it did indeed come to a stop in front of the Inn, panic coursed through his veins, rendering him paralyzed for a few seconds.

And then his car door was thrown open and he was heading for the stairs, just in time for the EMTs to walk out, Lorelai wearing an oxygen mask as she was loaded into the back of the truck on a stretcher.

He felt his throat tighten up at the sight of her; she was pale, too pale for any healthy human to be. Her cheek bones were terrifyingly prominent, and it was obvious that she had lost weight. Her hair had lost some of the shine that had once enchanted him, and her whole appearance was tired and worn.

The ambulance doors shut, and he whirled around towards the Inn as it sped off. "What," he demanded, walking towards Sookie. "The hell happened?"

"I don't know," she replied, sounding as if she were in a daze. "We were just…talking about stuff and she went to go answer the phone and then she just…" She shut her eyes, and a tear trailed down her cheek. "She collapsed. A-and then she wouldn't wake up and we just kept on shaking her and shaking her and calling her name and…" She let out a small sob. "I'm such a horrible friend! This has been going on for weeks and I didn't do anything, barely even said anything, and now…now I don't know if she's okay." She wiped at her eyes, hurrying towards her car. "I…I have to get to the hospital."

And Luke, with a blink of his eyes, realized that that was exactly where he needed to be, too.

000

Pacing around the waiting room had long since lost its appeal on Luke, and he was now spending his time hunched over in a plastic chair, face buried in his hands. Sookie was leaning against Jackson, who had his arms wrapped around her swelling stomach. Michel was sitting across from Luke, looking uncharacteristically somber as he, too, waited for the news on Lorelai. Luke was sure that the rest of the town would be sitting there with them, if they hadn't suitably warned the hospital security against it.

Luke saw Sookie and Jackson rise from their seats out of the corner of his eye. His head raised, and he quickly stood as he saw the doctor approaching. For some reason, his hand went up and swept the blue cap off of his head, wringing it in his hands. "Doc," he said, nodding. "How is she?"

The doctor regarded them through his lowered glasses, surveying each of the worried friends through bright green eyes. "Miss Gilmore is—"

He was cut off as Rory burst through the double doors, looking out of breath and windswept as she ran towards the group. "My mom," she said desperately, hurrying in front of the doctor. "She's…how's my mom? I-Is she okay? She's fine, right? She's not dying or anything?" She whirled on Luke. "What are you doing—"

"Shh, sweetie," Sookie cooed, taking the wild eyed college student into her arms. "Just let the doctor talk, honey, and we'll calm down, okay?"

Rory nodded, sniffling as she turned around, and awaited the doctor's news.

The man smiled kindly at the five, and said, "Miss Gilmore collapsed due to lack of nourishment. From looking at her medical records from two months ago, Miss Gilmore has suffered a weight loss that isn't healthy; she's lost about eleven pounds since her last check-up, and it's affected her health dramatically. All she needs is to make sure that she continues eating properly and she should be physically fine in about a month."

Sookie sighed in relief, and Rory let out a strangled sob. Jackson enveloped both of them in his embrace, comforting the two of them. Luke, however, continued to look at the doctor, sensing that he wasn't done. Indeed, the doctor faltered, and continued. "However…when she fell, Miss Gilmore hit her head extremely hard. It didn't cause any extensive damage, but she hasn't woken up yet. She will, soon, though, so there's no need to worry."

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat, and sat down heavily into the uncomfortable plastic chair once more.

000

Rory was the first to go in and see her, and came out with puffy eyelids and looking like she was going to collapse. Sookie and Jackson went in together, leaving Rory and Luke sitting in an uncomfortable silence in the waiting room. Then, they came out together, and Luke stood up, jamming his hands into his pockets. He shuffled towards the room, and opened the door, letting out a breath that he hadn't known he'd been holding.

He tilted his head at the sleeping (sleeping, he told himself firmly, not unconscious) form of Lorelai, seemingly swallowed up by the bed she was in. He pulled a chair up next to the bed, and sat down at it, pressing his fists to his mouth. He lowered his hands and reached forward to hold Lorelai's limp one, gripping it with warm, callused fingers. He scooted his chair as far forward as he could, and laid his head on her stomach. Squeezing his eyes shut, he felt a tear ooze out of the corner of his eye.

"God, Lorelai," he whispered against the cotton sheets. "Be okay…please…"

000

Lorelai swam through the darkness, desperately trying to figure out where she was. She blearily opened her eyes, and shut them right away. 'Yeah, Lorelai,' she said to herself. 'Real smart move.'

She let her eyes stay shut for a few minutes before slowly opening them back open. She scanned the hideous ceiling with disgust, wondering where she was. Suddenly, she became aware of a weight on her abdomen, settled comfortably on her lower stomach. She lifted her head, and felt a smile twitch her lips up as she saw Luke's blue capped head resting on her stomach. She tried to lift up her right hand, but found it held in his strong grip, so she tightened her fingers around his, squeezing tightly.

His head rolled around on her stomach, and he was facing her now. His eyes fluttered open, and he sat up when he saw she was awake. "Oh, God," he whispered hoarsely, and enveloped her in a crushing hug. "Oh, God, Lorelai," he whispered in her ear. "I was so scared…" His voice cracked, and he buried his face against her neck, and his lips kissed her pulse point.

Her left hand reached up and rubbed the back of his neck in comfort. "Hey, hey, hey," she said, massaging the knots in his neck. "I'm fine, okay? I'm fine."

"This is all my fault," he whispered brokenly against her skin. "My fault…" He raised his head and looked at Lorelai through teary blue eyes. His right hand came up and cupped her cheek, running his thumb across her face. "I'm so sorry."

Her hand came away from his neck and covered his hand on her cheek. "I'm fine," she assured him. She squeezed his hand, and she suddenly realized what he was afraid of. "I'm right here, Luke," she whispered, and his eyes shut. "I'm still here, and I'm okay."

He lowered his head so that his forehead was pressing against hers, and he squeezed his eyes shut and she felt a tear hit her face. "Lore…" he began, and she heard the hitch in his voice. She lifted her face up, so that their lips were only a hairs width apart.

It was his call whether or not to close the small gap.

And with a quiet exhalation of breath, he made the call. His lips closed over hers, weeks of regret and want and passion overwhelming them.

When they finally pulled apart, Luke buried his face back into her neck, and she was massaging his once more. "I love you," he rasped against her skin. "God, Lorelai, I love you so much…"

She kissed the side of his face, just in front of his ear. "I love you, too, Luke. I love you, too."

_**The End**_


End file.
